Most Badass Man vs. Beast Showdowns Part 1: Diver Challenges A Shark To Mortal Kombat

August 31, 2009 at 4:06 am (randoms)

It seemed like any other day for professional spear fisherman Craig Clasen had been hunting yellow fin tuna just south of the Mississippi River’s mouth with several of his friends. Things started to go south when one member of the group, Ryan McInnis, became stranded alone in the water away from the boat. Well, actually, he wasn’t completely alone.

He had company in the form of a 12-foot tiger shark, and in case you failed “animals that will murder your face” class, tiger sharks are known for being fatally aggressive and can eat anything from tuna to dolphins to guys named Ryan McInnis.

“The next thing that pisses me off is getting eaten, I swear to God.”

Clasen spotted the shark’s attack posture and decided that this shit was now on like Donkey Kong. He jumped in the water with a spear gun and a knife, swam over to the shark and embarked on what would become a two hour long fight to the death/battle of destiny.

Clasen proved his manliness and came out on top of the duel after shooting the shark in the head and gills with his spear gun six times and using his knife to finish the job. All the while his friends were getting pictures of the deed, presumably because they knew no one would believe “I stabbed a shark in the face” on faith alone.

“Fuck you, shark!”

Badass Rating: 9/10

Clasen had the help of an honest-to-God weapon and thus a better fighting chance than many. However, the fact that he looked out into the ocean, saw a shark speeding towards his friend and decided “fuck this”, probably makes him the baddest dude that ever lived. And if that wasn’t enough, Clasen had this to say about the incident: “Personally I never shoot anything or kill anything that I am not going to eat. We saved the tail and the head, cut a giant chunk out of it and ate a piece.”

Tastes like victory! Also, shark.

That’s right. He killed the shark, and then he ate it. The balls of everyone else on the boat retreated back into their abdomens like frightened groundhogs.


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